Again...

...or I can say finally,
my anxiety, grief and my sense of deadwood had burst into tears. This actually happened since I got a sad cum touching dream about my late Grandma 3 weeks back. Well, guess everyone would miss their late ones especially when they're having hard times in life. However, there's no time to be sad, for there's still a priority to maintain my mood and concentration on studies...or whatever's important now. Mid-term exam has ended with disappointment again. Sometimes, I even wonder if I've chosen myself a wrong path, and is there any turning back? Back then, I realized that my purpose in joining form6 is to score back my physics paper which I merely did during SPM, but after all  these papers have haunted me down even in my dream. "I shouldn't take these papers or enter science stream!", regretting in my mind. Hm....

Meanwhile, I've no idea why I've this thought recently :-

"Being accepted by others is harder than to accept someone".
Maybe I'm just kind enough to be friend with someone, and I'm patient enough to bear the problems they might have.
But, how about what others think about me? I can still tell that there's in-and-out in my friend list and also people around me. These people can totally ignore you but when it comes to something important, they can be friendly again. So, what's wrong here? Is there any permanent friendship that can last forever? Nothing is permanent by the way and if that's so, I can just play my part to be nice to others and cherish the good times we had together.

It's true that honest communication is essential to maintain a true friendship or a relationship, and this means no backstabbing people, but I also believe that it isn't the right way to be too straight forward, aggressive, etc. Why don't you let it happens spontaneously, naturally? Sometimes, too much actions will cause negative reactions. There are still some people who pissed me off when they are so aggressive, too actable, too arrogant, too silly, and harmful to others.

Back to the topic,  it makes sense if the amount of things increases, the number of problems also increases. When there's life, there's death. To all mankind and especially pet lovers out there, this is the fact that we must accept and face through. Another sad case which I've fish pet and I was happy when I thought it was pregnant but later I learnt that it's actually having symptom/deadly disease called dropsy. Same thing here, when there's happiness there's sadness. If I can make it, I would rather choose to be NEUTRAL!

Perhaps I've no wisdom and not matured enough to find the answer of my questions.