Physiological find-a-word has described me being; SAD, EPIC, LOVE
I realize that my 19 years of living is in the dark...sounds horrible and epic, huh?
Alright, this post can be the continuous to my http://keenho.blogspot.com/2010/12/worst-ending.html
Well yeah...this is the critical time, the very peak moment for me to walk through as ALL sort of PROBLEMS pay me a visit at once!
First thing first, it's true that I always say, everything comes from a home.
I guess this is how I've been brought-up to what I am now.
Every time when I'm home, I don't feel peace, and the warmth of love.
But I know I have to accept it without blaming anyone.
Sometimes I wish back to be just a child who do not know what actually a problem is, but in my past more or less I did feel it somehow....hmmmm...
Right now, knowing that I'm the root of the family...
it really gimme a burden to hold.
I wonder, if there's no root, will it fall?
Two options now, either CARE or DON'T CARE.
I guess everything will come to a conclusion after my final exam.
Whatever it is, I just don't want Them to suffer anymore,
thus LETTING GO should be just the best way, I guess... Such a waste still...
First thing first, it's true that I always say, everything comes from a home.
I guess this is how I've been brought-up to what I am now.
Every time when I'm home, I don't feel peace, and the warmth of love.
But I know I have to accept it without blaming anyone.
Sometimes I wish back to be just a child who do not know what actually a problem is, but in my past more or less I did feel it somehow....hmmmm...
Right now, knowing that I'm the root of the family...
it really gimme a burden to hold.
I wonder, if there's no root, will it fall?
Two options now, either CARE or DON'T CARE.
I guess everything will come to a conclusion after my final exam.
Whatever it is, I just don't want Them to suffer anymore,
thus LETTING GO should be just the best way, I guess... Such a waste still...
Next up, I feel really bad for spoiling MY bond all by my own hands.
I've nothing to say about this except full of Regrets...
But I still wanna say, "SORRY if I've hurt you."
Whether you see this anot, or whether you'll approach me again anot,
I still hope so.
Gosh...somehow I feel like I've done so horribly all the way,
but too stupid not sure what it is,
and feel like now have been abandoned from the world,
and even wanna hide myself away from the world.
Meanwhile, STPM is just around the corner, but I'm totally not ready for It yet!
If This is the final key to unlock my future goal,
I MUST make good use of the remaining days,
despite having to face such unsolvable obstacles, which is very demotivating!
As usual like I've mentioned, I have no health problem except,
my nervous system which is getting more serious due to stress, and INSOMNIA!
Unstable state, I can't take it anymore, and I feel like I can collapse at anytime. A sudden-death time bomb, huh?
Seriously, I do need support from YOU, at least for a moment :(
How I wish to get out from home, from darkness, to have some trips and travels, a real fun of life, to have my genuine new life, but there's always MONEY that matters! Haiz...
I've nothing to say about this except full of Regrets...
But I still wanna say, "SORRY if I've hurt you."
Whether you see this anot, or whether you'll approach me again anot,
I still hope so.
Gosh...somehow I feel like I've done so horribly all the way,
but too stupid not sure what it is,
and feel like now have been abandoned from the world,
and even wanna hide myself away from the world.
Meanwhile, STPM is just around the corner, but I'm totally not ready for It yet!
If This is the final key to unlock my future goal,
I MUST make good use of the remaining days,
despite having to face such unsolvable obstacles, which is very demotivating!
As usual like I've mentioned, I have no health problem except,
my nervous system which is getting more serious due to stress, and INSOMNIA!
Unstable state, I can't take it anymore, and I feel like I can collapse at anytime. A sudden-death time bomb, huh?
Seriously, I do need support from YOU, at least for a moment :(
How I wish to get out from home, from darkness, to have some trips and travels, a real fun of life, to have my genuine new life, but there's always MONEY that matters! Haiz...
After going through all my past updates,
I find that I can't really put words into actions.
Well said, but badly done!
What a big talk I am after all, but can't apply it...such a failure...haha...
I find that I can't really put words into actions.
Well said, but badly done!
What a big talk I am after all, but can't apply it...such a failure...haha...
Well, whatever it is, I believe there's still a purpose for me to live on earth.
I shall light up the Will of Fire,
to make this turning point to have a better end point,
for what I'm still Your GODson after all!
Thank GOD I had two miracles this year, may I have another one please?
HOPE?
Is there really always a light of hope in the darkness?
Or is everything actually nothing and I'm just making my life miserable?
I've cried all my tears dry and now I only wanna cry happy tears.
I shall light up the Will of Fire,
to make this turning point to have a better end point,
for what I'm still Your GODson after all!
Thank GOD I had two miracles this year, may I have another one please?
HOPE?
Is there really always a light of hope in the darkness?
Or is everything actually nothing and I'm just making my life miserable?
I've cried all my tears dry and now I only wanna cry happy tears.
If possible, I will not see it as a problem but a challenge!
~ If I Don't Ever Exist, Perhaps You Won't Prolong Your Suffers ~
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| The Pearl? A very sad ending eh... but He still have Someone to walk beside with... |
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